My aim is true.

coachedintosilence: I had just returned to my seat after the...

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 11:01:00 -0400

I had just returned to my seat after the too-generous response to my keynote had subsided when I was called back up to be presented with this beautiful birdhouse.

Oh Kindle Ads…you know me so well. (Although I did like...

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 16:45:00 -0400

Oh Kindle Ads…you know me so well. (Although I did like him in Mulholland Drive)

coachedintosilence: From the Safe Sport Leadership Conference...

Mon, 18 Feb 2013 14:40:59 -0500

coachedintosilence:

From the Safe Sport Leadership Conference in Colorado Springs.

"If anyone is unwilling to descend into himself, because this is too painful, he will remain..."

Wed, 06 Feb 2013 01:33:45 -0500

““If anyone is unwilling to descend into himself, because this is too painful, he will remain superficial in his writing… If I perform to myself, then it’s this that the style expresses. And then the style cannot be my own. If you are unwilling to know what you are, your writing is a form of deceit.””

- ― Wittgenstein

"I take it for granted, when I am invited to lecture anywhere- for I have had a little experience in..."

Fri, 18 Jan 2013 11:57:12 -0500

““I take it for granted, when I am invited to lecture anywhere- for I have had a little experience in that business- that there is a desire to hear what I think on some subject, though I may be the greatest fool in the country- and not that I should say pleasant things merely, or such as the audience will assent to; and I resolve, accordingly, that I will give them a strong dose of myself. They have sent for me, and engaged to pay for me, and I am determined that they shall have me, though I bore them beyond all precedent.”

- I’ve got an exciting announcement to make within the next week about a Coached into Silence related opportunity. Thoreau gets it.

“Two champions who stepped out of the shadows, shined a light...

Thu, 13 Dec 2012 19:32:00 -0500

“Two champions who stepped out of the shadows, shined a light on the the dark secret of child sexual abuse and showed us how to understand it and begin to heal.”

Gary Smith on heroes Kayla Harrison & R.A. Dickey in this week’s Sports Illustrated cover story: “Speak up, Speak out”

"The documentary is only a work in progress; but, on the evidence of his contribution to a conference..."

Sat, 24 Nov 2012 20:04:25 -0500

““The documentary is only a work in progress; but, on the evidence of his contribution to a conference in New York last week, Christopher Gavagan’s story – for he is the filmmaker with the guts and courage to delve into his own past – should make for a harrowing tale. It should also serve as a lesson, not just to other young sportsmen with their eyes on pursuing the dream of sporting excellence, but to many families and to society at large.””

-
Philip Reid zeroing in on what Coached into Silence is all about, in The Irish Times: http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/sport/2012/1124/1224327042084.html

(via coachedintosilence)

Coached into Silence in The NY Times: Close Relationship Between Player and Coach, Potential for Sexual Abuse

Tue, 20 Nov 2012 21:41:33 -0500

Coached into Silence in The NY Times: Close Relationship Between Player and Coach, Potential for Sexual Abuse:

coachedintosilence:

It was the summer before high school, and Christopher Gavagan, then 13, was preparing to leave the safe familiarity of the friends he had known during his boyhood. With a plan to excel at ice hockey, he began training on inline skates, moving through his New York City neighborhood, up and down the streets until, he said, “I turned down the wrong street.”

Gavagan, now a filmmaker, was one of eight panelists who participated Friday in a discussion about young athletes who have been sexually assaulted or abused by their coaches. The panel was part of the MaleSurvivor 13th International Conference, held this year at John Jay College of Criminal Justice. The conference brought together men who have been sexually abused, as well aspsychologists, social workers, academics and members of the legal community.

You can read Eric V. Copage’s full article here.

Devastated NY community built by firefighters burned beyond their reach

Mon, 05 Nov 2012 16:40:00 -0500

Photo by Chris Gavagan

Rob Gavagan and his father, Donald, assess the damage from superstorm Sandy in front of the elder Gavagan’s Breezy Point home on Tuesday.”

http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/10/31/14817184-devastated-ny-community-built-by-firefighters-burned-beyond-their-reach

Well, that should free up some space…

Tue, 28 Aug 2012 11:45:03 -0400

Well, that should free up some space…

Writing through the night, with Phil Ochs… My drifting...

Tue, 21 Aug 2012 02:46:57 -0400

Writing through the night, with Phil Ochs…

My drifting days prepare me to do battle with the night

A phantom of the fight

I’ve got conquer all the courage of my fears

The answer lies in limbo and the harvest will be hard

But sacred are the scars

That leave their mark on the fast dissolving years

From Thich Nhat Hanh...

Wed, 15 Aug 2012 08:19:40 -0400

“Store consciousness is a kind of chamber where the films of the past are always being projected. It is there that we keep our memories of trauma and suffering. We know in principle that the past is already gone. But the images of the past are still there, and from time to time—whether in our dreams or when we’re awake—we go back and experience the suffering of the past. We have the tendency to get imprisoned in the past. In principle, we know that the past is no longer that our memories are only a film, pictures of the past. But the films continue to be projected, and every time the film is projected, we suffer again.

Suppose we’re in a movie theater and a film is being projected on the screen. Sitting in our seat and looking at the film, we may believe this is a true story. We may even cry. The suffering is real; the tears are real. But the experience isn’t happening right now, it’s only a film. If I invite you to come up close to the screen with me and we touch the screen, we can see that no one is there, there’s only light flickering on the screen. We can’t talk to the people onscreen, we can’t invite them to have tea with us, because this is a fictive story, unreal. Yet it can create real suffering, real depression.

It’s very important to realize that the inner child is still there, caught in the past. We have to rescue him. Sitting stably, establishing ourselves in the present moment, we have to talk to the child within: “My dear young brother, my dear young sister, you should know that we have grown up. We can protect and defend ourselves now.”

Could the Penn State Abuse Scandal Happen Somewhere Else? Definitely

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 00:22:03 -0400

Could the Penn State Abuse Scandal Happen Somewhere Else? Definitely:

coachedintosilence:

Coached into Silence director Chris Gavagan ’s interview with The Atlantic about the Freeh report, Paterno, and where the school goes from here.

Patrick Hruby of The Atlantic did an impressive job of weaving my ramblings into a nearly coherent whole.

500 likes on Facebook feels like quite a milestone for someone...

Mon, 02 Jul 2012 00:52:00 -0400

500 likes on Facebook feels like quite a milestone for someone who was certain he would never tell a soul.

Thank you all.

As turn by turn directions go, this morning’s step 10...

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 05:44:00 -0400

As turn by turn directions go, this morning’s step 10 stings a little bit.

Took a rare two hours...

Sun, 10 Jun 2012 13:15:26 -0400

…to run around in the sun chasing a ball with Bay Ridge FC. Now it’s back to work prepping for my 3:30am departure for Bellefonte, PA for the start of the Sandusky trial.

Prep-School Predators The Horace Mann School’s Secret History of Sexual Abuse

Thu, 07 Jun 2012 16:43:00 -0400

I posted this New York Times Magazine article yesterday on the Coached into Silence Facebook page, but the Pandora’s box of broken silence ensures that there is much more to follow.

There are so many aspects of these Horace Mann revelations that echo what we have seen at institutions from Poly Prep to Christ the King, Trinity Pawling to the Citadel, Syracuse to Penn State. The more seemingly pristine the reputation, the more secrets have been locked away to keep it that way.

Amos Kamil was on the Brian Lehrer show today discussing the article, taking calls from “reputation defenders”, and projecting this issue forward toward the outcome that I return to again and again…a Truth & Reconciliation Commission.

Over the last several months I’ve read three books about the Truth & Reconciliation Commission process in South Africa; Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela’s A Human Being Died That Night, Antjie Krog’s Country of My Skull, and Bishop Desmond Tutu’s No Future Without Forgiveness. These books, and Mr. Kamil’s statement on WNYC this morning tell me what I already know in my heart. As much as we individually or as institutions might wish just to move on, put it behind us…there is a prerequisite for that.

As always, that prerequisite is the truth. There can be no healing without it. It is the truth alone which can detoxify the soil where these crimes have taken place so that someday, we hope, a more positive future can take root and grow.

Truth, then reconciliation. In that order.

Maintaining the illusion of separation between myself and my...

Thu, 07 Jun 2012 15:44:00 -0400

Maintaining the illusion of separation between myself and my work; the Coached into silence Tumblr is here: http://coachedintosilence.tumblr.com/

Photo

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0500

About to go live on the Diane Rehm show.

Wed, 14 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0500

About to go live on the Diane Rehm show.